Memoirs Of A Broken Soul.

Exuberance will never find me

A whole new life awaits 

Since you have come and gone

Agony and desolation have been my only friends. 

All around me i feel a negative change,

Dark sunlight and empty skies. 

Frightened by love more than loneliness

Afraid of life more than the cold hands of death

Scared of the reality more than the fantasies

For some reason i can’t explain. 

Would i ever heal again?

Because i may never be able to erase the past,

May never be able to break the tough chains of pain. 

Its just me against the cold world,

Trapped in an effortless battle.

They can have the future that i will never know,

Take the future that will never be,

Hold on to the true love that we never had

But they can never own the broken dreams.

You shouldn’t have walked away,

Back and forth, that’s how you treated my love,

And me, abandoned and abused,

In the darkness and terrifying storm, you just let me drift. 

Should have known you could only be there for that long.

Is it selfish to ask for more?

Another night, another day.

Just to feel you.

Anguish and sorrow is mine for the taking,

I’ll eat up broken pieces till i bleed.

This is part of the sacrifices i’m making,

Everyday will be a rain of pain.

Should have known, nothing lasts forever.

Why did you say good-bye?

Baby, i miss you.

                                             -Izabelle Felix-Okonti :)

1 month ago  /  1 note

So you want to kill yourself? Because no one cares about you. Your family hates you. Right? No. Your parents walking in your room in the morning to only find a dead body. They’ll try their hardest to not think negative, and to just think that you’re fooling around. Then they’ll start shaking you. Why aren’t you breathing? They’ll be broken. Tears. Many tears. More tears than you ever shed. Was it them? Were they the reason you did this? More tears. Pain. Every day. Every night. Every single second of every day. Guilt. More guilt. What about your bestfriends? They’re not going to care. Right? No. What’s the first thing that will go through their mind when your principal comes in and tells the class that you’re not alive. While your bestfriend sits there in tears. That girl that you’d smile at but never talk to? She’s now crying. The boy who used to kick you under the table just to annoy you? He’ll be shocked. He’ll be devastated. He’ll blame himself. What about your teacher? Thoughts crossing her mind. She’ll question if you did it because she didn’t make school comfortable enough for you. Pain. Devastation. All in one. Who organises your funeral? Who has to go through your stuff? Clothes? Notes? Those few older girls who used to give you daggers at school? They’ll feel regret. They’ll blame themselves. See, if you killed yourself today, you’ll never know what might of happened tomorrow. You’ll never know because you’re dead. Plain dead. Not breathing. Not alive. Just dead. Your family hates themselves for it. Your bestfriend then falls into depression. Tears. Tears. More tears than a river. All because you killed yourself because you thought noone would care. Right? You are loved. By many. Someone right now is thinking of you. And right now, I’m thinking about anyone who has thought or is considering suicide. You are beautiful. No matter if you’re black, white, homo-sexual, tall, short, overweight or anorexic. You are beautiful. You want to kill yourself? Think about it first. There’s no coming back. And I promise, if you do it, you are not only hurting yourself, you are hurting many. You are creating more tears than you led yourself to. You are making everyone miserable and making them all feel guilt and pain. Never will they feel whole like they used to when they had you. You are beautiful. And you are never ever alone.

(via smiler-xo)

4 months ago  /  155,857 notes  /  Source: asfakeasy0urtan